warning: includes The Bachelor finale spoilersI have a new theory (I have a few other ones too). My theory is that
no matter how much you love the Bachelor or Bachelorette, you will hate them in the end.I don't know why I even watch...oh, because they are addicting and mesmerizing, but then they leave you unsatisfied! AHH! So on The Bachelorette like 6 months ago, DeAnna was THE Bachelorette. She was "America's sweetheart" because she was a contestant on the previous season of the Bachelor, made it to the final two, thought she was going to get proposed to, and then to everyone's surprise was dumped right there, being the second dumpee of the night. So everyone loves her and she gets to be the next Bachelorette. Well at first she was cool, then Little Miss Blinks-A-Lot becomes really annoying and cruel. PLUS she dumped Jason Meznick when he was one of her final 2 male contestants (and everyone's favorite pick). DeAnna, you suck.
SURPRISE. America loves Jason, so he's THE next Bachelor. And oh, boy, was I excited, because I just loved him! Well, here is where my theory comes to life. He's an angel the whole time, and then he dumps Jillian. There's not a lot of Jillian lovers out there, but I thought she was the coolest. So then it comes down to the final 2 women, and everyone I KNOW is rooting for Melissa to win, including me, and it was like a fairy tale ending, people. Adorable.
Melissa left, Molly right
After she said "yes" Jason swung her around on top of the New Zealand hillside, where a helicopter happened to swing by to catch the shot. This was Disney material (OH wait...ABC). Okay, I know it's cheesy, but it was the most genuine proposal I've seen on the show.
Well just as I'm drying my tears of happiness, the After the Last Rose episode comes on. This is where the happy couple greets America again, and the dumpee asks "WHY?!" all bitterly.
I don't care if this is never-before-in-Bachelor-history stuff. I want a happy ending, especially for Melissa. So what happens? Jason takes this last moment on TV to make us all hate him.
HE DUMPED HER! HE DUMPED HER ON TV! They've been engaged off-screen, spent the holidays together, and then he waits until he's on TV again to break things off with her. WTF. Oh man, I love how she handled it. Sweet Melissa called him a naughty word (it's okay on ABC?) that starts with a B and ends with Tard. He IS a tard. He decides once the chemistry between he and Melissa (ie. the magic of reality TV) starts to change, that he needs to end things right there and go see what Molly's up to. Molly. Molly! The only thing I liked about her was her freckles. Her intentionally messy ponytail drove me bizerk. So then Molly comes out, and needs to have all these dumpee questions answered, but then Jason shows up and says, JK Molly, let's go get coffee and see where things go. And she's all, um, what about Melis–OKAY let's make out even though you were engaged 5 minutes ago, love you too.
The saddest part of all is that I sort of knew this was all going to happen, but didn't want to believe it. I was sitting with AJ last night, telling him about my plan. I needed a plan because we don't have cable anymore, so I catch up on abc.com on Tuesdays after the show airs Monday night. The last finale I went to catch up on was True Beauty, and abc.com gave away who won before I could even watch it! The button for the show had the winner's face blown up on it...uh I WONDER who won...So anyway, I was afraid Melissa or Molly's face would be on the Bachelor button and ruin the ending.
I'm telling AJ about my plan to avoid that happening (too many details already so I'll spare you) and he goes and GOOGLES the results while I'm laying there on his sweet little shoulder, acts like he's interested in the show to make sure he has the right season, and pulls up an article about it, and by the time I had realized what he'd done I had already read the headline "The Bachelor Does A Double Whammy". You guys it was horrible! He's awful!
So until I could watch the finale this morning, I had the impression that his "double whammy" would be dumping both girls at the end. NOW imagine how happy I was to watch him actually propose to Melissa! I thought AJ's article was wrong all along.
Nope. Jason, you suck.
So now the question is, will Jillian or Melissa be the next Bachelorette? And if one of them is, will I watch it? All I know, is she will be hated by the end! Baaah!